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I ate 4 slices of pizza for dinner tonight.

Even with having a small, skinless chicken breast for lunch, that totally blows my Weight Watchers points for the day . . . again.

The delivery guy forgot my salad. I forgot about the salad. By the time Pizza Hut sent the salad over, I'd eaten the 4 slices of pizza.

So much for killing my appetite with the salad.

I am totally sucking at this.

I hate this.

I hate having to think about/worry about/plan about/fret about every bite of food I eat.

I hate being overweight. I don't want to become diabetic.

I hate this all.

NOT the best attitude to have when trying to lose weight, or to make any life change for that matter.

I wish it worked to just not eat. I'm having trouble feeling triumphant over seeing how few points I can manage to eat at any given meal, or rather, keeping it right at my "allowed" number of points as I'm supposed to. I hate having to buy the little entrees and crap, but it's hard to actually cook for one and keep it "healthy". I hate trying to eat more fruit that I don't really like in the first place and then ending up with it going bad because I don't get it eaten. And the V8 Fusion fruit juice is 2 points - as is regular V8 juice, so even with that I'm sabotaged.

BUT . . . I HAVE to do this. I HAVE to lose weight or I'm going to be a sicky like my Dad was and his parents were and his sister is.

And I hate every minute of it. It's a microcosm of being depressed. It's another thing that used to be fun and enjoyable becoming a dreaded pain. I hate breakfast. I hate lunch. I hate dinner. The only meals I enjoy are the ones I shouldn't eat - but even that isn't right - I don't enjoy those because then I feel guilty afterwards. Nope - eating is no longer enjoyable.

But actually, this is only fair. I don't have to go to a job I hate every day. It's only fair that I should have to hate every meal I eat every day to balance out the no job thing.

Oh well. I'll try again tomorrow to see if I can stay within my measly 24 points/day.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 3rd, 2007 04:58 am (UTC)
Oh don't give up. :(

I know how hard it is, believe me. Do you think maybe Weight Watchers might not be the best way for you to diet? I don't imagine that it works for everone and I certainly know that I could never do it. I find watching how many calories I eat much easier to deal with.

If you really want to lose weight, and it is a desire deep down in your heart, then you won't let yourself give up and you will succeed. ♥
Feb. 3rd, 2007 12:08 pm (UTC)

Thank you so much. I've done both, watching calories and watching points and either way I'm having to keep track of something. For me it works out the same either way. I've lost weight both ways in the past and have been frustrated with both. I first went on this round with WW 3 years ago. During the 3 years I've lost 20 lbs and pretty much kept it off with only slight flucuations. I'm just having a bear of a time breaking through the 180 lbs. barrier. I've been in the low 180s for about a year.

The bigger issue is being a spoiled citizen of the western world, I'm not that into self denial. LOL

Thanks again, you're a sweety!
Feb. 3rd, 2007 06:20 am (UTC)
Now, don't despair! You still have your 35 points for the week that you can invade.

Besides, if you hate counting points as much as I do, then you can switch from the points plan to the core plan, which is the one I do. No journaling, no counting of points. Much simpler and my life does not revolve around how many points everything is. You have your core list of foods you can choose from, and that's it, unless you want to invade your 35 points for the week. And the food on the core program is healthier, whole foods anyway, more natural.

As for only being one person and it being difficult to cook for one, you can buy boneless chicken breasts, cut them into smaller portions and freeze them in freezer bags, or else you can make the chicken and then save the rest for leftovers. I also recommend buffalo meat, which is leaner than beef. Besides salads, there are also the steamed vegetables, but be careful to get the ones without sauces and all of the sodium. I basically try to stick to low/no sodium and low/no cholesterol, which keeps me pretty much in the core program. I also recommend taking a blender and mixing lowfat milk, orange juice, fresh fruit such as strawberries, peaches, or bananas, and ice cubes. It makes a wonderful smoothie! And try to drink all of the water you are supposed to drink. I also love having a green apple every day at lunch. That's one of the hardest things for me.

Hang in there, and go to another meeting to boost your spirits up. Besides, without Weight Watchers, you would have had the four slices of pizza, plus garlic rolls and dessert, so you still are better off. Feel free to e-mail anytime you need encouragement.

Keep up the good work!

Feb. 3rd, 2007 12:54 pm (UTC)

As I'm sure you knew it would, I knew you're on WW by that first sentence ;-)

I try to ignore those 35 points. When I first went on WW (well for this go 'round, I was on it for a while in 1988) 3 years ago, I went on it with MysteriousWays. She made careful use of those 35 points. I have a tendancy to see them as cheating or a way to cover my heiny when I don't behave.

I need to make better use of the chicken breast option :-) They are easy to buy and easy to just fix one.

I'm having to be careful of the sodium levels as I have high BP, so I'm trying to go for low sodium stuff myself. The thing is, everything tastes so blah. It's a big part of what is making the whole thing harder this time. (My BP wasn't an issue when I started on WW 3 years ago) I get so tired of small amounts of food with little or no flavor. Do you have any suggestions? The entree thingys aren't too bad, really, and breakfast I don't mind being repetitive. But I have trouble everyday with lunch and with dinner when my hubby is home. (he is gone a lot with his job so he's not around every evening) I like to fix "real food" for when he's home as he doesn't get home cooking when he's gone, but then it's harder work controlling how much I eat. It doesn't help that he's one of those naturally thin people that can eat like a horse. He is supportive, he doesn't push me to eat a lot or anything like that. It's just he can eat a lot, and snacks a lot, and it's hard to not join in the "fun".

Basically, I still want to be able to enjoy eating. I've never been a hardcore snacker, I never have eaten much between meals. But I eat too much *at* meals. I don't mind cutting down the amounts (well . . . I don't mind *too* much ) but I really hate losing the simple enjoyment of food that tastes good.

I tried getting into the smoothies as MysteriousWays raved about them. I still have the problem with them tasting blah and uninteresting - and I hessitate to sweeten them or anything because then the points go up and it shoots the whole thing. I'm better with vegies than with fruit in that I like a wider variety of vegies and for me they taste good. I think part of it is I have unrealistic expectations of fruit because they always hype it as a desert replacement, and as I said above - to me it just isn't all that sweet. And this is with (by this time) not eating much high sugary type foods, so I don't think it is the whole issue of my taste buds being used to the high sweet of sugar. About the only fruits I like are bananas and apples. I like pears and peaches but only canned in juice. I do like the tropical mix canned fruit with mangos and papya in it. And I still forget to eat the stuff (I think because I don't enjoy it that much) and it goes bad. Again, have you any suggestions?

I do the online WW. Long story, but I live in a smallish city-town (approx. 16,000) and I've had odd experiences with most of the groups I've tried to join here. When I did WW in 1988 there was no online and I went to meetings, but that was in a different state. I should get on their forum, I guess, as it does help to have someone to talk/chat with about it all. I'm not as chatting with MysteriousWays as I was 3 years ago, and it did help to have someone to do the program with. My daughter is thinking of going on it (if we can figure out a way to afford it for her) and if she does, that'll help a lot :-)

Long answer! Whew!

It's good to know you're on WW, Gryffinjack :-) and thank you so much for the supportive answer :-)

You're right - otherwise I would have had breadsticks and desert as well! ;-)

Feb. 3rd, 2007 04:01 pm (UTC)

Yes, I knew you would know I was in WW from my first sentence. But really, those 35 points are there for a reason. Use them if you have to.

Even though you do not like eating fruits as much by themselves, they taste different in a smoothie when mixed all together. I find that the fruits that work best are: orange juice, pineapple, strawberries, peaches, plums, blueberries, blackberries, and coconut. You can add lowfat milk or lowfat vanilla yoghurt for additional flavour and to make it seem more like a milkshake. You can even add dietetic chocolate to it if you want a chocolate fix, and then count those points against your 35. Definitely use crushed ice cubes - it makes it more of a dessert.

For the chicken - cook in olive oil in a pan. Add frozen steamed vegetables with no sauce (check package - it should have no or little sodium). Add onions, fresh mushrooms, and/or red pepper if desired. Add fresh salsa (Either that you made fresh or from the refrigerated section of the grocery store. It must have been made with only the fresh ingredients rather than being a salsa from the potato chip aisle. I prefer to use either roasted garlic salsa or mild salsa). Optional - add some lowfat cheese, such as ricotta, lowfat cheddar, etc.) Leftovers can be used for another day or two.

For ground sirloin (we use buffalo as it is leaner), try making taco salad - brown the meat in a pan with a packet of dry taco seasoning (try to get one with least amount of sodium). Add browned meat mixture on top of lettuce (spring mix, Romaine, or spinache) in bowls and then add shredded lowfat Mexican cheese, fresh salsa, lowfat sour cream, and jalapeno peppers if desired. Dig in!

I also enjoy having potatoes on the core program. I find the tastiest ones to be Yukon Gold. I don't even add anything on top of them and find them to be quite delicious, potato freak that I am.

For dessert, I usually have smoothies, fruit, lowsugar popsicles, or peanut butter on celery or on four matzoh crackers.

Where do you live? It's important to go to meetings if you can. Otherwise, you should be in touch with at least one WW person for support. If you'd like, you can reach me at gryffinjack @ yahoo.com or else contact me on Yahoo Messenger under Gryffinjack.

Good luck and I hope that helps!


Feb. 3rd, 2007 04:59 pm (UTC)
That all sounds great! I'm going to copy/paste the food ideas to a sticky note so I can find them on my desktop :-)

I'll let you know how it goes.

Thank you so much, Gryffinjack!
Feb. 3rd, 2007 04:36 pm (UTC)
I've had odd experiences with most of the groups I've tried to join here. When I did WW in 1988 there was no online and I went to meetings, but that was in a different state. I should get on their forum, I guess, as it does help to have someone to talk/chat with about it all.

Maybe a Livejournal community would be fun and supportive? Here's one that I found that seems active: http://community.livejournal.com/ww_users/profile

Feb. 3rd, 2007 04:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you :-) I'll give it a looky-see!
Feb. 3rd, 2007 07:25 pm (UTC)
Hang in there. It's not going to be overnight (wouldn't *that* be nice), but if you've made up your mind, you will do it.

Keep in mind this is the *worst* time of year to be trying to lose weight, because your body is trying to do the opposite as a survival reaction to the cold. So don't beat up on yourself too badly!

Feb. 3rd, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC)
oooo! good point :-) I'm fighting the "mother bear syndrome"!

I'm feeling better today, in part thanks to all the caring comments and helpful thoughts.

Major hugs to Wednesday!! (stay warm!)
Feb. 3rd, 2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
Speaking of staying warm...

I don't know how it affects the WW points system and all, but soups are really filling, warming & low-calorie (if you pick the right kinds). Just something to maybe keep in mind?

Feb. 4th, 2007 07:35 am (UTC)
I know what you mean. I'm trying to lose weight right now, too. There's a WW at work that I just joined, but they haven't started meetings. I'm hoping the "points" approach would put me off as much as it did a few years ago when I tried it.

Here's what I'm trying right now:

Breakfast: Instant Quaker oatmeal(reduced sugar apple and cinnamon)

Snack: A clementine and/or a small handful of almonds

Lunch: Something sensible from the cafeteria, like fish, rice and veggies

Snack: A clementine and/or nonfat sugarfree blueberry yogurt

Dinner: Lean Cuisine

Snack: A half portion of chocolate malt slimfast

The almonds containg the "good fat" that is supposed to help dissolve placque in your arteries, and they really do help me feel full. I get the simple whole roasted ones with little or no salt.

Next week, I start going to the gym.

We'll see how it works. Good luck to you, too!
Feb. 4th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC)
And good luck to you, Ros!

I'm doing better now. I think it just builds up every once in awhile and has to come bursting out. I used to be one of those children and teens that can eat anything and in large amounts and stay thin. I think the brain has real trouble when the metabolism changes and suddenly that doesn't work any more. I didn't start gaining weight until my early 20s.

I go more for an egg at breakfast as I've found I need the protein or my shakiness gets worse. You're on a good pattern though :-)

We'll have to encourage each other! I hope your group at work is fun :-)

Feb. 4th, 2007 08:28 pm (UTC)
I know, I know. I started gaining about the same time. Thanks!
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )