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To all those involved

I am posting this to make a confession.

I'm the person who sent Marigold and Llinos those emails and called
Marigold at work. I had no way of knowing she would be at work, I didn’t
even know I was calling her mobile phone, rather than her home. I purposefully waited until evening UK time, hoping that she would be at home.

I realize now that I made a dreadful mistake in how I went about all of
this. To cause pain and upset was not my intention . . . but we all
know about the road that is paved with good intentions, and I completely
admit I was horribly out of line. The intentions don’t matter when the
resulting actions are so terribly wrong.

I never meant things to go so far as they did, and I am sorry for any
hurt that I have caused Marigold and Llinos. I should have realized that it
was not the best way to get either of their attention. I foolishly and
needlessly added to the already oppressive burden of stress and
exhaustion that Marigold is bearing and for that I feel truly awful. In retrospect, I know now that I should have put aside my own misguided feelings and questions, and simply refrained from acting on impulse.

I do not know if they, or any of you others who are now aware of my
inconsiderate behaviour, will ever forgive me. If that possibility
exists, I hope you will.

I have the greatest admiration for all the things that Marigold and
Llinos have done for the fandom, for all the things they have done for me,
for the Recs page, the Challenges and for their abilities as editors.
I hope that one day they will find it in their hearts to forgive me for my bad judgment. I am helpless to change my rash actions, but please know that I truly regret acting impulsively and if I could change it, I would. All I can do now is offer my sincere and heartfelt apologies and ask for their, and your, pardons.

This apology did not come sooner for two reasons; one: I was out of town Saturday and Sunday with my husband and, two: I wanted to be sure I thought
before I spoke this time. I wanted to carefully consider my choice of words, since my initial haste caused this horrible mess in the first place. I have learned from this experience that acting with an emotional response to things is not only wrong, but also can wind up causing hurt to many. Again, for any upset I have caused to any of you, and most of all to Marigold and Llinos, I am deeply sorry. I have considered many of you my friends, and I have enjoyed sharing the Fandom with you all for the past several years. You are all very dear to me. I am heartbroken over this and ask you to accept my humble apologies.

Pearl Took

Please, if not too many of you received notice of this post do not take it that I was trying to hide. It is because I only have 13 fanfic people on my friends list. It was sent to all 13, including KnittedMerry and KnittedPippin.

Edited to Add: I have asked a few people to link to this post from their sites so more people can read this post for themselves and comment if they wish to.


( 51 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 14th, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC)
Oh, Pearl! I know that making a public apology like this had to be very hard for you! I think it's very brave of you to admit your fault like this.

I do hope that forgiveness will be forthcoming, and that all this can be put behind. Our little community of hobbit-fanciers has always been a warm and welcoming place, and mostly free of conflict. I hope it will soon return to that place.

(((hugs to you, and for Lesley, too)))
Jan. 14th, 2008 04:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you Dreamflower.

I feel terrible about it all. I hope the same as you do, that things will now be able to move on.

(((hugs Dreamflower back)))
Jan. 14th, 2008 04:47 pm (UTC)
Dear Pearl, hopefully this can be resolved between you and Lesley, but I know how difficult it must have been for you to post this message.

*encouraging hugs*
Jan. 14th, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much shirebound.

Thank you for the good hopes. Your encouraging hugs mean a great deal to me.

*teary Pearl hugs back*
Jan. 14th, 2008 05:22 pm (UTC)
Pearl, as Shirebound said, hopefully you and Lesley will be able to resolve this, and in a more private forum. Apologies are never easy but you have done your best to try and address your impulsive action in the most mature and thoughtful way you knew. We have a wonderful community, as Dreamflower said, and I hope it will return to its peaceful state very soon.

Bless you for taking responsibility! That can't have been easy.

Edited at 2008-01-14 05:23 pm (UTC)
Jan. 14th, 2008 05:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you Cathleen.

I also hope that things will be patched up between Lesley, Liza and me. And I also hope things return to peaceable in the community.

(((hugs Cathleen back)))
Jan. 14th, 2008 07:37 pm (UTC)
*hugs Pearl*

I too find it very brave that you make this apology!

I hope things will be getting well again between Lesley, Liza and you. And also that all the others understand and forgive.

Sometimes one just makes a mistake, but standing up for it and apologize puplically surly gets my respect.

Jan. 14th, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much Golden.

I hope it will all settle out peacefully as well. I'm honored to have your respect, thank you.

Jan. 14th, 2008 10:09 pm (UTC)
Pearl, this must have been extremely difficult for you to write and post, and I hope that you and Marigold and Llinos can straighten this out.
Jan. 14th, 2008 10:17 pm (UTC)
It was difficult, but I wanted/needed to do it as I am really sorry about all of it and it's best to just say so. I'm also hoping we can work things out.

Thank you so much SS.

Jan. 14th, 2008 10:56 pm (UTC)
I for one am heartened by this. Facing up to one's mistakes is hard because there is no garuntee that our efforts will be well recieved. But I think this shows that perhaps there is more hope than we realise. I know so many who have responded here with their heartfelt appreaciation for your appology had expressed indignation in reguards to the un-named person who deeply hurt Marigold.

This really says a lot about the hope for humanity.

Forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us. Yes, peace is possible.

Jan. 14th, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you MysteriousWays :-)

I'm glad you're encouraged. I am too. That is such good advice and I hope peace is possible, it would be really good for the world.

Hugs to you,
Jan. 14th, 2008 11:30 pm (UTC)
I eamiled you when I firs saw this post, but I'm going to comment here as well. *gives sympathetic hugs and hugs* It really was brave of you to have admit your fault in this – I know just how very hard that can be. I'll hope for your sake (and all others involved) that things will turn out well.

Edited at 2008-01-14 11:31 pm (UTC)
Jan. 14th, 2008 11:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you Dana and those hugs are most welcome.

*hugs Dana back*

I also hope things work out well for all of us. :-)
Jan. 14th, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
I have no idea what this is all about, but I hope things work out for everyone involved. We are all human, and mistakes are made. We can only keep trying.

Jan. 15th, 2008 12:11 am (UTC)
Thank you so much Wednesday.

Because I have people on my friend list who aren't involved in this, I had originally had this for fanfic friends only, but I don't have very many of them on my list considering how many knew about it all. So I opened it up knowing that my other friends would have no idea what had happend.

It is kind of you to make such a nice post even though you weren't involved. :-)

Jan. 15th, 2008 12:04 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry that this all happened to start with; but since it did, I'm so glad you found the courage to publicly apologize. That is the first step on the road to healing.

I hope everything can be worked out between the three of you.

I have to admire you for speaking up and admitting that it was you who had had the communication with Lesley. I'm afraid I would probably have just slunk away and hid. Guess that speaks to the type of person I am.

Jan. 15th, 2008 12:20 am (UTC)
Thank you so much Garnet.

(((hugs you back)))

I hope things can be worked out as well. Don't think I didn't consider slinking at one point, but I'm very glad I didn't. This felt much better even before anyone commented.

Jan. 15th, 2008 12:20 am (UTC)

I came here via a link on dreamflower02's lj.

I am not at all aware of what is going on, nor do I feel any need to be. I just wanted to post and say that as someone who far too often speaks emotionally or without thinking it through first, *HUGS* for having the courage to speak up, admit your mistakes publicly and try to make amends. I hope the others involved are able to overcome any residual emotions from whatever happened, for their sake as well as yours. I know sometimes forgiveness can be difficult, and asking it difficult as well. For all three of you, I wish peace of heart and mind, and a knowledge of our love for you.

Once again, *hugs* and Best wishes.
Jan. 15th, 2008 12:39 am (UTC)
Hello aspenjules and thank you.

Thank you for commenting and wishing us all well even though you don't know what happened.

I'm hoping for the best as well.

hugs :-)
Jan. 15th, 2008 01:25 am (UTC)
Far too seldom do people in the world today own up to any mistakes they make, let alone with such grace and humility, Pearl. I can't imagine that whatever it was that occurred could have been anything other a grievous misunderstanding in the long run, but I cannot think that such a gentle, heartfelt apology could be received with anything but goodwill.

I have some experience of online misunderstandings and the pain they cause; I wish you all the best and a quick resolution to the situation. Certainly you have stepped up with great courage.

Jan. 15th, 2008 01:37 am (UTC)
Thank you elandulin.

You are very kind. I'm hoping for a good outcome. I did mess up, and I am glad that my apology is being well received.

thank you :-)

Jan. 15th, 2008 01:52 am (UTC)
Saw this linked on Dreamflower's LJ. I don't know anything about the situation but hope all parties can resolve things happily. Fandom is a wonderful place but it is also an intense place and sometimes we do things we wish we hadn't. Best of luck to you!
Jan. 15th, 2008 02:09 am (UTC)
Thank you baranduin.

I do wish I hadn't done this. Thank you for the good wishes.

Jan. 15th, 2008 02:56 am (UTC)
Once again it's late at night (for me) and I am tired. I will say that this took guts, Pearl, and I'm glad you did it, too, and didn't slink away.

*more hugs of encouragement*
Jan. 15th, 2008 03:14 am (UTC)
Thank you so much Pippinfan.

I'm teary again. Your encouragement and hugs mean a lot to me.

I glad I didn't slink away as well :-)

(((hugging you back, lots)))

Jan. 15th, 2008 04:37 am (UTC)
*hugs* from one regrettably impulsive person to another. It took courage to make this post, and I hope it will be received with grace by all who read it.
Jan. 15th, 2008 02:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much Lin.

It helps to know I'm not the only one :-)

*hugs back*

I hope so too.
Jan. 15th, 2008 04:46 am (UTC)
Pearl, I hope you, Marigold and Llinos are able to talk things out privately and resolve this. It takes courage to apologize. I wish you all the best and I will be thinking good thoughts for all of you. Take care.
Jan. 15th, 2008 02:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much GW.

I am hoping we can work it out privately as well.

Thank you for the good wishes and the good thoughts :-)
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( 51 comments — Leave a comment )