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I've no real idea what to say, just that I feel I wish to write something here after the post of last week.

I've been recovering.  The events surrounding the last post had me having occasional mild panic attacks, sleepless nights, and a few bouts with mild chest pains, so I was rather tired most of last week.

I'm working on changing my general attitude.  I come by a pessimistic and negative outlook genetically and environmentally - my Mom makes Eeyore  look like an  optimist.   It is hard work and so far I'm only having moderate success.  It is hard to change the thought patterns of a lifetime.

At the advice of two friends, I'm trying to find some other things to do that involve getting out of my house and in the company of other humans on a face to face basis.  Not much luck so far.  I might try the local writers group, but they meet on what is supposed to be a fencing night.  However, the writers only meet once a month, so that wouldn't be too bad.  The good part is they are in my own town.

I wish I could find a local fiddle teacher or jamming group.  That would be fun.  I would consider starting a jamming group but our house is way too small to host such a thing.

In some ways, I don't feel I need anything new to do, just a way to have what I'm already into become something I do in person with other people.

I've grown frustrated and rather bored with the story I'm co-writing.  I love working with the other author, I just am chaffing with writing in a mode that isn't how I normally write.  I usually do very little rewriting.  I have everything in my head, it goes onto the computer, I'll re-read it about three times through making minor changes and that's it.  With having to allow for and accommodate someone else's thoughts and images there is all sorts of changing and tweaking and rewriting.  Because the other writer lives in Germany there's sometimes time issues with waiting to get things read and approved.  Everything is just taking forever.  I'm really hoping I can get back to being excited about it all.  The story is doing very well, took a 2nd place in the 2007 Middle Earth Fanfiction Award, and gets lovely reviews.  I really want to finish it out well.

Other than that, I'm doing some knitting, trying to keep up better with online friends, playing my fiddle (not as much as I need to to improve though), taking photos and posting some at 100 snapshots here at LJ.

Hugs to you all and I'll be making the effort to see what you're doing on here more often :-)



( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 24th, 2008 06:19 am (UTC)
Hey hon! I can most certainly understand how stressful things have been for you lately! Do email me if you need to.

I can imagine the frustration you have with working on a co-written story--it's hard having to filter things through two people's brains, and the language and time barriers can't make it easy. Which makes it something you and Jana can really be proud of, for the way you've overcome the obstacles!

No suggestions for RL activities, because I don't know what's available in your area, but on the fic front, you might try writing a little something that's just fun and cracky, just to unwind.

What have you been knitting? I'm nosy! *grin*
Jan. 24th, 2008 02:51 pm (UTC)
Pearl, hang in there, hon! Things have a way of sorting themselves out with time. As for writing when you've been upset about something - well, for me what works is writing short ficlets, and maybe finding something very humorous to write about. Hope the suggestions I sent for the "First Time" challenge on the Gen-Fic group help you some. You are such a talented writer, please don't make us wait very long for another story!!

Co-writing is a difficult undertaking at the best of times. I'm not surprised you're having some problems with it at the moment after all the stress you've been going through. It's a magnificent story, and I know your co-writer is a patient and supportive lass, so just keep going and take a break when you need to.

Knitting, huh? I'm nosy too! Is it pink and fluffy?
Jan. 24th, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
Hey Pearly!

One day at a time. That's the way. ((hugs))

Jan. 27th, 2008 12:56 am (UTC)
Hi Wednesday :-)

Thank you, I'm working on it ;-)
Jan. 25th, 2008 03:06 pm (UTC)
I dare you to do something really insane... Bungy Jumping!!!

Seriously. It is very hard to change one's thought patterns. I considered myself a reasonably positive person but you know how I get when I get frustrated. It does get easier with practice. ((hugs))

Feb. 10th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC)
I know what you mean about working on the face to face interaction, I need to work on that as well.
I was really interested to read that your own writing style is VERY similar to mine! Yet something else we have in common! I am so jealous you have musical abilities, it is something I wish I had pursued, it must be so wonderful to be able to play an instrument.
Take care, like the earlier post-er said, one day at a time!
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )